Distortion

I am not a fan of change.

A long time ago, Grandma bought a rug for the kitchen. It is quite colorful, and very large. I felt that if I were to step on it, I would be swallowed and forever disappear from earth! Human would replace me, my food bowls, and I would never be able to play with my beloved dental floss AGAIN.

Well. This makes that rug pale by comparison.

Do you see what I see? Are these even considered stairs? I see snakes! Snakes, hoses, barbed wire! SO MANY OBSTACLES!¬†TREACHEROUS! I am sure that if one were to use these steps they would SURELY perish! I don’t see how anyone could survive.

[shudder]

Maybe Grandma is crazy, but I know she would never allow such an atrocity to be placed in my living quarters.

Besides, there is no carpeting. Where would I barf? I need a spot to barf. Its absolutely imperative I have a designated barf zone. Human doesn’t understand.

 

WHAT!?!?!

Babies are being baked?! I want one.

Human said they are fake babies….something to do with Mardi Gras. What IS that anyway? Sounds weird…especially if they put fake babies in cakes.

I wonder if anyone has ever eaten one…

Oh Charlie…sigh.

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