I am of course talking about my new water bowl!
The bowl is HUGE! I prop my front paws on the inner rims so I can drink. My back paws stay outside of the bowl. Human says I look like I have a bad hangover when I am drinking from my bowl. I am not quite sure what she means.
OH! OH! Guess what readers? Birds…birds are falling from the sky!
THOUSANDS OF YUMMY SCRUMPTIOUS DELICIOUS CHEWY BIRDS! ALL SHAPES AND SIZES! When Human told me I didn’t believe her. Then I did my research. She’s right! Birds. They are dying. All of my fellow felines better step away. Those are MINE. Human says I really will be using my bowl if I ate all of those birds. Again…I don’t get it. She’s such a baffling creature. Ugh. Anyway, the dead/dying birds are located a few states away, the closest being roughly 7 hours. I told Human she could order a few for me. She said they were not located in pet shops, they were outside, and outside birds don’t cost people money. They are for looking ONLY, she said firmly. Not eating. Is she not the dumbest creature on the planet??? Of course they are! Are we supposed to “just look” at the dead ones too?
Do I have to sit here helpless while other cats eat MY birds? There is more than enough for me! I don’t understand why I have to miss out. It’s NOT FAIR!
I’ll just have to take my mind off of it somehow. WHAT? There are dead fish TOO? NOOOOO! I WANT THEM! I WANT THEM NOW!!!