Human hasn’t been around much. She gets up super early, then gets home at 11. She said she is working longer because its Christmas break. I say POOEY! She should ask me if I agree with these new hours. I don’t. She knows I don’t. So whats the problem? Oh, she prefers to listen to her BOSS over ME. PFFFFFFFT. I see where her priorities are. Nevermind that she spends two hours with me each morning coddling and petting me. Oh no, thats NOT what I want. I demand her attention AT LEAST four hours. Is that so much to ask?
And now this thing called CHRISTMAS is making everything way too shiny and sparkly. Don’t people know that shiny, sparkly things look edible to us cats? They do. And I have to say, that tree in the living room looks DELICIOUS. Too bad its blocked by equally shiny presents.
I feel all around neglected. NO HUMAN CONTACT AT ALL, AND I CAN’T EAT THE TREE!
People are getting upset about body scans in airports. I never knew they could fly. The scans are used to locate any weapons that could be hidden in a…erm…cavity. I never knew people were caves. They are thinking that a person is standing in front of the scanner watching them. Nope. They are in another room entirely. And you don’t undress, you step into the scanner and BING! All done.
So all of you silly ones out there…