Worms? Worms. Maybe? I dunno.

All I know is Human keeps saying “YOU LOOK FAT CAT!” And I keep telling her “ITS THE FUR!” She doesn’t listen. I would totally let her know I had worms. Trust me, its not in my criteria of things to HAVE. What what in the butt, not not worms in da butt!

Vladimir Putin put out fires in Russia. I am thoroughly perplexed by this. WHAT was Vladimir Putin doing flying that huge plane??? Honestly. And then he “SPOTTED” another potentially dangerous fire in a nearby village. Suuuuure you did. Whatever. Thats like the time Lindsay Lohan thought she was being a dj. No. Both of you give yourselves way too much credit.

WHAT, did I just compare two completely different people? Oh. I so did. I am that good.

I ran into the hot tub yesterday. I was chasing a lizard and I guess I just got caught up in the moment. When you are as fierce as I am, then you understand. Your fierceness overcomes everything, including depth perception! I swear it wasn’t there TWO SECONDS before I hit it. And then I ran around the opposite side. I was gonna catch that lizard, dammit! And of course, the lizard finds a hole to slither through. That didn’t stop me! I went through the hole after it! Human still doesn’t know how I fit. I am magic, thats how.

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