Guess what readers? I have perfected the art of dry heaving! Human thinks I am puking, so she gets out of bed to look. Of course, there is nothing. Once she is out of bed, she is required BY LAW to feed me. Its in the bible: Thou shalt feed the kitty, and ye will be blessed with many a sow, or something like that. So anyway, Human feeds me, and I scarf it down to prove to her I am starved and have never had food in MY LIFE. Then, I demanded to be let outside. And here I sit, in all my glory, gloating over my amazing acting skills. Charlize Theron, eat your heart out.