Oh. My. God.

The scariest thing happened to me this morning. I awoke to strange, sharp pains in my sides. I felt light-headed. Surely I was dying! I knew there was only one way to fix this….FOOD. I galloped downstairs to my food bowl [decorated in dancing cats, not my choice I promise you!] Lo and behold, it was EMPTY! Human wanted me to DIE of starvation! I felt weak…my legs were becoming shaky…my vision…blurred. I managed to muster up enough strength to jump on her bed and meow.


Did she wake up? No. She patted my head clumsily and fell back asleep. I jumped off the bed, and, with one final burst of strength, I launched myself onto her stomach.


She grumbled and followed me downstairs. Guess what she fed me? WET FOOD! OMG OMG OMG OMG! I need to wake her up more often.

[Insert human: She woke me up at five in the morning…devil cat.]

I WAS DYING, okay??? Good lord. You would think she would be more concern. I guess I’ll have to call the SPCA. Sheer neglect I tell you. My emotional state is in tatters. SIGH.


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