I overheard Human telling a friend I was getting fat. How rude! Its not as if she’s skinny. And I mean her appearance is ridiculous. She doesn’t fold her clothes. She looks homeless when she puts them on. A very rich homeless person. I don’t know of any that sport American Eagle. But then I have never met a homeless person. Do you think they smell like Doritos? Doritos are good.

Speaking of FOOD…I have not seen any of that amazingly good wet stuff in my bowl. Human has been feeding me the dried pebble crap. I eat it sure…but not with joyful enthusiasm. Being female you would THINK she could see that I am not thrilled with her selection. I will forgive her ONLY if she pets me while I am eating. Its the best thing ever. In fact I purr so loudly I start to snort. Snort purring. Snurring. There we go! I snurr when I eat.


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