I am done writing about those ugly people. For now.

My favorite spot in the whole wide WORLD! Human made the bed [for once] this morning! I am confused. When I saw the plushy covers it made me angry. I don’t like change. Change is never EVER a good thing! Grandma bought a rug for the kitchen and I knew it would eat me. It was so menacing. All those colors and crazy shapes…the rug is not right in the head.  Human says rugs don’t have heads. Whatever. How do you think people trip over them? Rugs. They MOVE.

Hairy Man hasn’t visited my estate in awhile. I know I said before he is kind of scary with that fur on his face…but I kind of miss him. Don’t tell Human I said so. Human says when Hairy Man “pops the question” [whatever that means!] we will be moving out and living with him. Oh no. No MA’AM! I did not give you permission to make that decision. I’ll wait until she leaves. I’ll poop  on her pillow. She always makes a funny face when she finds one of my works of art. Grandma is real loud about it. “EWwwww-UH! GROSS CAT!” Is what I usually get.  They fail to remember all the times they have annoyed ME.  Go figure. Psh!


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