Its a slow day.

I am not being very active right now. Human thinks the cold weather is finally getting to me. Psh, maybe SHE’S the one getting to me! Maybe just looking at her makes me plummet into a deep, dark, depression. The most potent happy pills couldn’t make her go away! SO no, it’s not the weather.

I am mad at her because she isn’t here 24/7. I get sad, then angry, then sad again. Most cats just stay mad, but not me, because I am better than them.

Speaking of cats…there is one that keeps coming around MY porch! Human thinks she’s so pretty, and that is SO not true. Shes fluffy like me, but is white and has brown stripey spots. I think thats weird. Its like a pigment problem. Human doesn’t think so…then again one of her favorite horse breeds has spots on its butt.

Am I the only one finding this a bit disturbing? The horse has issues! And it seems to be quite happy despite its handicap of…weirdness. And spotty butt syndrome. Well, I guess in this guys cause it’s SPOTTY EVERY &@(#@(&#* WHERE! Attack of the pigmentation! Or lack there of! It sounded cooler in my head! Omg.

It isn’t as bad as…these people…I don’t know what they were thinking.

WAIT. They weren’t!

I will post a new weird person every day for a week. Or whenever the subject gets a bit boring. I doubt that will happen. Well, it might. Who knows.

Numero Uno:

Oh dear God. What is going on here!? And I thought Human had makeup issues. What are all those ring boxes for? Cell phones, my Human says, but they ring, and they are boxy. And they are on this person’s head. She [he?She?He?] looks quite surprised that she [he?she?he?!] is dressed in this way. Don’t be. You did it to your self. I looked up drag queens, and now I realize “she” is actually a “he”. I can totally see it now. Human thinks I have my blonde moments. Yeah, I kind of just had one. THE FOUNDATION IS CLOWN MAKEUP! WHATTTT. IS GOING ONNNN. The pearls don’t help either. They look like bowling balls migrated to his neck. His eyeliner is almost as bad as Pamela Anderson’s. Almost.

Can you hear the screams of little children? I can.


1 Comment

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One response to “Its a slow day.

  1. Momma

    I love it! cracked me up! (Sam too)

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