Makeup.

Human doesn’t wear much, but when she does it’s like wowza! Peacock coming through! Its a menagerie of colors and neon flashing lights! People are so strange. Grandma wears makeup every day and she does it RIGHT! You can’t tell she’s wearing any! But Human? HA! Its so comical. And she wonders why I look at her like shes an idiot. Hairy Man says he likes it but I think he doesn’t want to get scratched ;).

Makeup is made of animals, right? I never got into that whole PETA thing…it seems sort of silly. Humans are like cats, they do what they want when they want and they don’t give a DAMN about some silly fish scales in their lipstick. Yes, fish scales. Remember Nemo? He’s nice and dead in your Maybelline. Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Nemo! Human doesn’t like lip stuff because she says its slimy. It looks slimy! I have naturally beautiful fur that doesn’t need a THING. So of course I have to take her, the idiot, at her word.  Some makeup has a component found in poop. Like fragrances and such. Its what gives poop that distinctive smell. Now try putting on that Hot Bod cologne buddy! By the way, that stuff smells awful!

Check out this shenanigans! A toilet AND a aquarium. This is so amazing. I love toilets. Every time Human or some other lesser known person flushes I have to look! Now there is more to awgull and boogle at.  Did I mention I don’t like fish? I don’t. But this fascinates me. Why would you want someone living behind you while you…uhm…did stuff? What if your toilet backed up? Would the tank turn brown? And why is it people like GOLDFISH? They are so dirty, and STUPID. They drink their own pee! They pee in their water, and DRINK IT. Drinking their own PEE. I can’t wrap my head [or tail] around it. Apparently they have a two second memory. I guess they forget they just PEED in their WATER.

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