Human entered me in the Animal Planet contest called ‘The Spot’. This time she used a much more appropriate shot. I look most becoming! Naturally they will choose me. I am, after all, half Maine Coon. Thats practically royalty.
For once Human made the right choice! I never forget anything. Human runs up and down the stairs, always waking me up! Completely and utterly stupid. You would think Human would write a note to herself. What else are those weird paws for? There are other creatures in the house. I might as well list them so my beloved readers know who I am speaking of:
Boyfriend: Ah, the lovely man is charming! I love it when he comes home and talks to me in his lovely English accent. He’s got a glossy salt and pepper coat, and a very mischievous smile. I love my boyfriend.
Grandma: That is what Human calls her to me. I assume Human is her kitten because Human acts submissive to her. I wouldn’t act submissive! I’m a princess.
Squirt: Squirt is a younger kitten than Human. They are related,I think, because they are both stupid and they both forget things.
Hairy Man: He’s Human’s boyfriend. Hairy Man has fur on his face and it scared me at first. He smells good and talks nice so I got over it.
Thats the whole group. Of course, there are a few other people but they don’t really deserve any special recognition. There are these loud squealy things that come around once a week. Human calls them Neffews. Neffews are loud. I try to hide and wait for them to go away. No one ever knows where I hide. To keep my place secret I won’t tell you, darling readers, where it is. That would make me subject to coddling and fussing. I don’t like being messed with. People smell. Except the boyfriend. He smells gooooood!